"Just. I show Crow those messages and he comes back with, 'Okay, yeah, but remember what you said to me first? So you had it coming.' " He sighs. "He's probably not even wrong, but. I don't know."
"He's blaming himself." He stares at Mothman, at the pair of sword-wielding Girimehkala that proudly flank him. "For the mess in the Palace, for Magpie texting you in the first place. He thinks it's all on him."
"That's stupid," he says, coming to Crow's defense on instinct, despite everything. Then: "Why the motherfuck would he send that conversation, then?"
The one where Ren was too open, and it repelled Crow, like he always knew he would. He remembers it vividly. Voices whisper poisonous abuse in his ears.
So he opens the first screenshot, and starts to swipe. Almost at once he has to swallow a laugh, at the "pushing people away" evasion tactic. "Sorry."
It doesn't last, anyway. The more he reads, the more the weight of grief weighs on him. i killed wakaba isshiki. i was going to kill my version of you. just have some cops drug him and shoot him in the head. i told magpie....
But Crow's words take him by surprise. What did he do to provoke such a response? I may adore Magpie, but he can be a fucking idiot.
Eventually he has to put the phone down and stare at the ceiling, blinking. i keep seeing futabas face. and magpies when he was little. when they liked me. i hate it. i hate it. "Ah, Ren," he eventually says. "No wonder you ended up with a Palace."
That clarifies nothing. Still confused, and still trying not to look at Akechi's phone, Ren settles into the embrace, wrapping an arm around Akechi's back.
He turns his head to look at Ren, with a bit of difficulty, and a bit of calculation too. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"
It's like seeing the Palace built in front of him, brick by brick. Or assembled from preformed parts that were just waiting in line. And so many of them have his name on them. He knew that already, but....
"Am I that off?" He resettles, eyes on the, frankly, giant spatula Haru got him in Asakusa. "It was just... sad, I suppose. Not pitiful. It reminded me why we're doing the Palace."
...Ren doesn't even know how to respond to that. He tries to think of something, but his mind is blank; all that comes to him is, "Text him back." Shadowy forms shift at the edges of his vision.
For a moment, he struggles with the urge to pull Ren close and kiss him on the cheek. What the hell is wrong with you, Akechi? Squeezing his shoulder instead, he looks down and finally texts Crow back.
[And he's not sure how to feel about it other than bleak. He can hear the anguish of every text in Ren's own voice, in the weight of him against Goro's shoulder. It renews his determination.]
For what it's worth, I don't think you handled it badly. It was obviously a difficult situation, one with no way to win. No matter what you said.
Does Magpie fully understand what may be required of him? [That is, that he may have to try to make amends with Drake.]
But I know that by telling Magpie about what happened, it... well.
I was in terrible shape, he was there, and I desperately needed someone to talk to in the moment. He had invited me out to coffee to help me decompress, and he chose to take action because I was in such shitty shape.
Obviously, that doesn't change what he said or the damage it dealt. He had his reasons for why he approached it that way, but they are deeply personal, and I don't want to betray his trust.
But to answer your question, he understands.
I just wonder what will happen next. There's still lingering tension, and I truly doubt Glitch gives a shit about how I feel or what I have to say, so we'll have to find a way to work around that. If we break into smaller teams, that will likely help, but I can't flip a switch and simply be happy about where things stand with us.
And then there's Drake. I know he wants little do with me as it presently stands.
It is what it is. Let's just hope tomorrow goes more smoothly than today. Though I wouldn't count on it.
[No, not with Ren and Magpie coming face to face, to unleash whatever unholy alchemy they might possess. And the team itself split both ways on protecting the two of them.]
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On the screen glows Crow's sad little message. I'm to blame for all of this.
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"...I don't get it."
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The one where Ren was too open, and it repelled Crow, like he always knew he would. He remembers it vividly. Voices whisper poisonous abuse in his ears.
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He doesn't want to look at it again himself, though. He turns his face away.
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It doesn't last, anyway. The more he reads, the more the weight of grief weighs on him. i killed wakaba isshiki. i was going to kill my version of you. just have some cops drug him and shoot him in the head. i told magpie....
But Crow's words take him by surprise. What did he do to provoke such a response? I may adore Magpie, but he can be a fucking idiot.
Eventually he has to put the phone down and stare at the ceiling, blinking. i keep seeing futabas face. and magpies when he was little. when they liked me. i hate it. i hate it. "Ah, Ren," he eventually says. "No wonder you ended up with a Palace."
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He isn't mad, just. Baffled.
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Panicking. Maybe Goro should do more of that.
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It's like seeing the Palace built in front of him, brick by brick. Or assembled from preformed parts that were just waiting in line. And so many of them have his name on them. He knew that already, but....
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Sorry for the delay. That's a lot to take in.
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The reply comes all the same.]
No, that's all right. It was a heavy conversation, after all, and you were mentioned several times.
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[And he's not sure how to feel about it other than bleak. He can hear the anguish of every text in Ren's own voice, in the weight of him against Goro's shoulder. It renews his determination.]
For what it's worth, I don't think you handled it badly. It was obviously a difficult situation, one with no way to win. No matter what you said.
Does Magpie fully understand what may be required of him? [That is, that he may have to try to make amends with Drake.]
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I was in terrible shape, he was there, and I desperately needed someone to talk to in the moment. He had invited me out to coffee to help me decompress, and he chose to take action because I was in such shitty shape.
Obviously, that doesn't change what he said or the damage it dealt. He had his reasons for why he approached it that way, but they are deeply personal, and I don't want to betray his trust.
But to answer your question, he understands.
I just wonder what will happen next. There's still lingering tension, and I truly doubt Glitch gives a shit about how I feel or what I have to say, so we'll have to find a way to work around that. If we break into smaller teams, that will likely help, but I can't flip a switch and simply be happy about where things stand with us.
And then there's Drake. I know he wants little do with me as it presently stands.
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[No, not with Ren and Magpie coming face to face, to unleash whatever unholy alchemy they might possess. And the team itself split both ways on protecting the two of them.]
Can I offer a word of advice?
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Very well.
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Try not to take all of this on yourself. It does no good. There's plenty of blame to go around.
[Including in his direction. But he doesn't elaborate.]
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But it's hard not to feel that way after today. Multiple chiming in to scold me. My own boyfriend wasn't thrilled.
Ren and I talked about it after the fact. We came to an understanding.
I'll just be happy when this is over.
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