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[lakebrat]

Hello. You've reached Goro Akechi, known as Frog. Please leave a message.

[Beep.]

[[ooc: WARNING that threads with willowandoak may contain unmarked NSFW. Tread lightly. Blame Sunflowren.]]

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[willowandoak]

Ren will call Goro annoying every day, if that's what happens when he does. But instead of saying so, he tries to actually focus on the conversation at hand.

He smiles briefly when Goro gives his analysis. "It'd be nice if he could get that through his head. He's the second best demonstration I've seen of why therapy is fucking useless."

The very best demonstration, of course, is a certain school counselor with a god complex. But Crow... firstly, it's exhausting to deal with him when he gets like that. It makes Ren wonder what it must have been like for Goro, when Ren was so much worse and Goro was so much closer. But more importantly, at least to Ren, it keeps making Crow unhappy.

[lakebrat]

Goro doesn't argue the therapy thing. He's seen enough overbearing doctors in his time. There are people who've helped his mother over the years, but none of them were therapists.

He doesn't smile; instead, the remnants of his smile fade, becoming more closed off. "I mean, we can't exactly argue that the others are better. He has that much going for him, at least. But it seems that when he has bad moments, perfectly ordinary, human bad moments, he puts it down to—what, some stain on his soul?"

Is Goro the single, shining example of a well-balanced Goro Akechi? He wouldn't go so far, not by half.

[willowandoak]

"Yep." He sighs. "I don't know, man. It's... Did you feel like this when I had a Palace? When I kept saying weird shit and there was no point in even talking to me about it?"

[lakebrat]

"I—" Shit. His face, if anything, closes even more, before unclosing a tiny bit. "I was afraid. That it wouldn't work. That I'd be required to leave you as you were."

[willowandoak]

Ren considers Goro for a moment, solemn-eyed, feeling the weight of his fear and his determination, as solid and grim as concrete, to let Ren choose his own destiny. Then he leans in and kisses him.

[lakebrat]

And this time it doesn't turn into sex. He feels Ren's concern wrap around his own, as delicate as a butterfly, and he lets the kiss strengthen him.

Now in Ren's arms, and slightly distracted, he watches the window. "I would have done it, you know. If it was truly what you wanted."

[willowandoak]

"I know." He wouldn't have known, a week ago, or else he would have believed it for the wrong reasons. But that was then.

"I didn't really want to die. Not even... It got kind of bad for a little while with the Palace. But I still wanted to survive. Some things are just more important." He reviews that sentence. "One thing. Is more important.

"A while ago," he continues haltingly, "I heard what happens in the interrogation room. Like, before I get there. They were going to drug you, beat the shit out of you. The person I talked to said their you was out of his mind from drugs and injuries. And I—"

He sighs. "I don't know why that thought pushed me over the edge when the actual plan wasn't enough. But that's when I decided."

[lakebrat]

It's such a thought. He knew going in that it would be bad, that whoever arrested him would do so by force; that they wouldn't be kind. But he'd do it. If it would save the others, if it would let him win, he'd do it. He just—he hadn't thought they'd drug him. That's not even legal. He starts to pull away—

One thing. Is more important. His hand tightens on Ren's waist, his lifeline, as he gets control of himself.

"We still might have to go through with it, you know," he says, dry-mouthed. "There might be no way around it. Not if we want to get out the other side."

[willowandoak]

"No," he says flatly.

[lakebrat]

And, for all he brushes his hand against Ren's back, for all he tries to lock himself down, there's still animal terror in his eyes. Enough that he doesn't even argue. He'd imagined what it might mean, but he thought it wouldn't come to the worst.

"Okay," he murmurs, swallowing. "Okay. We were talking about Crow, anyway."

[willowandoak]

"Goro." He pulls back slightly, just far enough to look Goro in the eyes. He looks like the boy he was a few years ago, the one who realized he'd have to kill thirty people within three days and said, I'd better get to work, then. "Listen to me. Are you listening?"

[lakebrat]

His eyes flick up, half-angry, half-terrified, fraught like an animal's.

[willowandoak]

"I won't let that happen to you." He says it with utter certainty. His mouth is a straight, implacable line. "We have time to make plans here. We can finalize them with your friends when we get home. All I have to do is tell them how bad the interrogation will get, and they won't let you within half a mile of the police station. It's not happening."

[lakebrat]

But he's not the leader for nothing. Moment by moment, he draws himself back together, all the little cracks and crazy paving vanishing under an intense façade. Except that Ren has seen them.

"And what about you?" he insists. "Whatever we go forward with needs to be something we both survive."

As for what he'll do instead... he's thought over possible plans. Ones that don't involve sacrificing either him, Ren, or all of the others, though—they're thin on the ground.

[willowandoak]

"I have some thoughts. If we play our cards right, we can get everything sorted out before the 19th. Except Yaldabaoth, I guess. And maybe Maruki. But they're not part of United Future. They don't want you in that room."

He strokes Goro's hair. "And if we don't make it in time," he says, ignoring the leader act and speaking to the terrified boy he knows is still there, "you can all join me in Mementos until Shido and Niijima are taken care of. I didn't agree to survive just to watch you throw yourself on the fucking pyre, Goro. I won't take part in any plan that involves you and Shido's cops."

[lakebrat]

His heart feels like a bird. A trapped, terrified bird, with no way to fly but forward. Quietly, he leans in and presses a kiss to Ren's lips.

—which is the exact moment Ren's phone chooses to vibrate. "Shit," he says, against Ren's face.

[willowandoak]

Ren huffs, half in laughter and half in annoyance. With the mood broken, he gives Goro a quick kiss and turns to extract his phone from the pile of clothes on Goro's floor.

The set of messages makes him snort. He sends a brief reply and then shows his phone to Goro.

[lakebrat]

Pulling himself upright, he gives the string of messages a snort in reply. "I wouldn't be Crow. Imagine having to live with all those shepherds. Boss was never so bad."

[willowandoak]

"I bet you were never as bad as Crow," Ren says absently, eyes on his phone.

[lakebrat]

"I'm sure I was worse," he says, almost comfortably, propping up the pillow to make a spot for Ren to snuggle in—if he so wishes.

Beaten and drugged, though. Yet by the sound of it, he still survives.

[willowandoak]

He does, leaning back against the pillow and squirming a little to get comfortable, giving nothing more than a skeptical hum in response.

As patient and generous as it is, Crow's latest message makes him hesitate. He doesn't glance at Goro or reach for him, or in any way ask for even more support than Goro's already had to give him. But he's searching for courage, and it's taking him a minute to find it.

[lakebrat]

But Goro slips an arm around his shoulder, a warm, steady, naked presence. He's right here, Ren.

[willowandoak]

Ren's determination carries him through the long series of messages he sends Crow, although his grip on his phone grows tighter as he continues. But the instant he's done with the final message, he drops his phone and turns to hide his face against Goro's neck.

Fuck, that was awful. Do people really do that all the time? Just say shit? How are they not dead?

[lakebrat]

His other arm goes around Ren, holding him close and secure as the two of them breathe together. Imagine just saying shit like that. He'd almost rather die.

He rubs Ren's shoulder, in slow, certain circles.

[willowandoak]

"Fuck," he mumbles after a moment. "At least when I had a Palace I didn't have to do this shit."